


An Introductory Lecture on Language Used by Sea Captains

by Tish



Category: Tintin - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 17:37:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5057710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tish/pseuds/Tish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wot it says on the tin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Introductory Lecture on Language Used by Sea Captains

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rosencrantz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosencrantz/gifts).



Professor Tong adjusted his pince-nez and shuffled his papers as he approached the podium. The audience similarly shuffled, mainly due to the tedium of the previous speaker and the wooden seating.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the Philological and Linguistics Institute, it is my pleasure to share my recent findings on the remarkable spoken traditions of sea captains and other ocean-going folk. I recently spent some time with a remarkable gentleman by the name of Haddock, a most interesting and, er, rather outspoken merchant sailor. Hmm, hmm, indeed, yes.” 

Tong shuffled his notes again and polished his glasses. “Where was I? Ah yes. Captain Haddock has a hmm, hmm, remarkable vocabulary which is especially evident when he is hmm, hmm, excited and animated. Indeed yes.”

 

The Professor paused and took a sip of water, then thumped his fist on the lectern, bellowing, “Poltroons!”

Three elderly professors jolted awake and muttered into their beards as Tong continued.

 

“Now, as we all know, this is derived from the 16th century Italian or middle French, and describes an ignoble, or cowardly man. Such a word, it rolls off the tongue.” Tong chuckled to himself and shuffled his notes.

Hmm, hmm. Ah yes, indeed. Then there's the wonderful exclamation of _blistering barnacles!_ Such a fascinating phrase. Barnacles, blistering in the sun. Presumably the ship has been raised above the waterline for the barnacles to hmm, hmm, blister in the sun.”

 

Tong nodded to himself. “Keeping on the nautical theme, we have a cry of coelacanths, a very satisfying word indeed, one can always depend on Latin to give us such beautiful elegance. Hmm, hmm. Ah yes, indeed.”

 

By now, his entire audience was staring at Tong in amazement. One or two whispered to another that this was some elaborate prank. Another checked his pocket calendar to see if the date of April 1st had slipped upon them unnoticed. 

 

Engrossed in his speech, Tong continued on his merry literary travels, only pausing now and again to sip some water. Some in his audience prayed for some barnacles to leap out and blister Tong's lips to shut him up.

“And, now, the final item,” Tong adjusted his glasses as a relieved sigh raced through the room.

 

Tong had drawn breath and was ready to speak again when a booming voice rang out from a courtyard below, “Visigoths! Polygraphs! Bashi-bazouks! Ectoplasms! Ten thousand thundering typhoons, come back here!”

The audience of distinguished fellows all looked across in unison as the voice travelled along the courtyard. The unseen, but very much _heard_ figure ran along, before it faded away, still blasting out bizarre insults.

 

“Hmm, hmm, ah yes, indeed. I give you Captain Haddock, ladies and gentleman. Good day.” Professor Tong bowed slightly and shuffled his papers as he strolled back to his seat.


End file.
